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Breaking the Barrier

Hi Honeys’ and Happy Sunday!

I have spent the last few days thinking and reflecting on some things and I was pushed to talk about something near to my heart. Tomorrow I start my second semester in Seminary school and I find myself excited yet nervous at the same time. Why nervous, do you ask? Nervous because this will be my first semester in a while taking a course on campus with my fellow classmates. Let me explain:

At the end of 2013 I developed this anxiety that causes me to have “stage fright”. I absolutely dislike having to make speeches, especially long ones, and that’s something I have been working on considering the fact I know God wants me to public speak as part of my purpose some day. During my Fall semester of 2013 I had this HUGE speaking project for a class that required me to speak for 15 minutes! I remember thinking, absolutely not lol, but I had to do it for the sake of my grade. During the speech I had never heard/felt my heart beat so fast and I felt myself become short of breath. That my friends was my first experience with a panic attack (worst feeling I have ever experienced), it was the longest 5 minutes of my life when it all began.

Break-Through-Barrier-ADHD

From that day on I swore off taking on campus classes again out of fear that the panic attack cycle would happen again. Until now I managed to keep that promise to myself going but the funny thing about God is he is quite the hilarious creator himself. As this new semester approached I have felt this nudge to get back to on campus classes and on top of that my husband has encouraged me to get back to it as well without knowing about the nudge I had felt prior to him saying anything. When it came to my advising appointment my advisor informed me that I HAD to take a on campus course this semester to meet my requirement. It then dawned on me that this is what God wanted and he was totally BREAKING my comfort zone. At first, I hated it, but then after praying I realized that it was okay and that God would not put me anywhere I was not meant to be despite how I “feel” about it. I was comfortable and now I am NOT and I know that despite that, I will be fine because it is a barrier that needed to be broken and now developed into something new.

Comfort is something that a lot of people rest on, but as Gods children we are not meant to be comfortable. If we want to grow as individuals we have to go through those pruning stages where we are stretched and molded into who we are to be while walking in our purpose. We cannot let fear steer us away from the great plans God has for our lives and we certainly shouldn’t be disobedient and deny all direction from him. I know 2015 will be a pruning season for me because though I love my comfort, I don’t want to be comfortable if that means I get mentally lazy in keeping the Kingdom mindset and going when he says to go. So with that being said; do NOT get comfortable, be ready for whatever he directs you to do, and find joy in the hard seasons. It may be hard now but know that God is doing 10,000 other things in your life to prepare you for an amazing journey to come; pass the test and push through. It WILL be okay.

Some scriptures I rest on in tough times:
– Psalm 118:6
– 2 Timothy 1:7
-Psalm 27:1
-Matthew 11:28
-Psalm 62:1

Rest my loves and know that he will forever direct your paths whether comfortable or uncomfortable. Until next time!

Love,
Kayla

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